Garden jokes are ideal for people who enjoy being surrounded by nature.
Many people value cultivating and investing all of their energy in plantings and caring for their plants as if they were their children.
You can invest however much energy cultivating that you can be giggling at these entertaining garden jokes.
The result of these jokes might improve your cultivating experience. Perhaps you’ll learn new planting procedures to integrate into your basic cultivating schedule.
Another amazing aspect of the jokes is that there are numerous subheadings or categories, which means that there could be thousands of jokes under gardening jokes. The best part is that you will never run out.
If cultivating humor is your thing, you’ll live it up perusing these gardening jokes!
You May Also Be Interested In:
- plant jokes
- tree jokes
- flower jokes
Table of Contents
Best Garden Jokes
The best garden jokes are always told by someone who has spent their entire life surrounded by greenery. For example, what did the landscape gardener think was wrong with the garden? The garden was a painting.
What would make up a gardener’s favorite design of trousers?
Ones with turnips all over the trousers.
Which rock song did the gardener listen to while plucking herbs?
‘Sweet Chive o’ Mine’.
How would trees calculate a square root problem?
They will use log-arithm.
Why did the gardener decline the job offer?
Because the celery was very low.
Why is The Hulk considered a very good gardener?
Because he has got green fingers.
What would be a gardener’s favorite Beatles song?
Lettuce Be.
Why did the gardener change his mind about gardening even though he wasn’t fond of it?
Because the plants grew on him.
How long does it take for a gardening business to flourish?
You have to give it some thyme.
Why did my garden owner decide to retire after having bad headaches?
Because he was sick of my grains.
What kind of tree has hands?
A palm tree.
Why does Elton John not like Iceburg lettuce?
Because he is more of a Rocket Man.
What would be a gardener’s favorite Harrison Ford film?
Raiders of the Lost Bark.
How do you actually make an apple puff?
By chasing it around the garden.
Why do gardeners plant bulbs?
So that the worms can see where they are going.
How did the garden movie get interesting?
Because eventually, the plot thickens.
What kind of astrology do gardeners believe in?
Plum-is-tree.
What are the kinds of socks a gardener wears?
Garden hose.
Funny Garden Jokes
Funny garden jokes are only considered funny when someone cannot stop laughing after hearing them. For example, what would you call a mushroom if he was the life and soul of the party? A fun-gi.
What is orange in color and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
What do vegetables really wish for more than anything else in the whole world?
Peas on earth!
Why should you not tell a secret in a garden?
Because potatoes are known to have eyes, and the corn has ears.
How did the new gardeners learn gardening?
By trowel and error.
Where do farmers send their kids to study?
Kinder-garden.
What was wrong in the garden, according to the landscape gardener?
The garden was a portrait.
What was lettuce told to do at a garden party?
To turnip the beet.
What did the gardener say at Thanksgiving dinner?
Lettuce be thankful for garden jokes.
Why did the garden owner get arrested?
Because he was disturbing the peas.
What was the name of the gardener’s favorite show?
Lawn and order.
What happens if a packet of seeds is left in a coat?
The coat turns into a chia jacket.
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny.
What is the gardener’s favorite novel?
War and Peas.
What does the gardener do when Spring arrives?
They wet their plants.
What vegetable is always cold?
A chili.
What is a taxi driver’s favorite kind of vegetable?
A cab-bage!
What did the cucumber say when he saw the plane?
Cor-jet!
Hilarious Garden Jokes
Jokes are supposed to be so funny that they make your stomach hurt. Do you know how a flower issues a challenge? She tells everything all at once and in floral. A good example can be found in the section on hilarious garden jokes.
How did the banana style her hair?
In bunches.
Why was the cabbage’s heart so big?
Because he carr-ot for all.
What vegetables you might find in your basem*nt?
Cellar-y.
What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin?
“I am what I yam!”
How do vegetables greet each other?
“How you bean?”
Which day is most hated by potatoes?
Fry-day!
What did the lettuce tell to the celery?
Stop stalking me.
What would you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?
A broc-collie!
What can you possibly make from baked beans and onions?
Tear gas.
Who is considered to be the coolest veggie?
A rad-dish.
What name would be given to an angry pea?
Grump-pea!
What vegetable was left when the elephant arrived in the garden?
None! They were squashed!
What do you call a mushroom if he was the life of the party?
A fun-gi.
What veggie is known to play music in the garden patch?
The bell peppers.
Why did the potato go to the doctor?
Because he was not peeling well.
What did the vegetables say to the sandwich?
“Lettuce all smile!”
What do you normally say to loud veggies?
To turnip down.
Garden Jokes for Gardeners
There are a few jokes for gardeners that can only be understood by those who have been gardening for a long time. For example, why was the gardener dissatisfied with the plant movie? Because the plot thickens.
Why is it said that flowers could talk?
Because of their tulips.
How do flowers handle sadness?
They get clover it.
What kind of flowers should you give your mother?
Chrysanthe-mum.
What kind of flowers grow in outer space?
Sunflowers.
What would you get if you cross a dog with a daisy?
A colli-flower.
What is an amnesiac gardener’s favorite flower?
Forget-me-nots.
What would a bee say to the flower?
Hello honey.
What do you call a flower that glows in the dark?
A light bulb.
What do you call a French gardener’s favorite flower?
Croissanthemum.
What would an insurance company for flower businesses be called?
Oopsie Daisies.
What happens to the flower when it gets too embarrassed?
It turns rosy.
What would be the name of a flower that has a band?
It would be called Guns n Roses.
How does a flower whistle?
Using their tulips.
What does the youngest flower child in the garden say?
Last bud, not least!
What would a big flower say to a little flower?
“What’s up, bud?”
Where do flowers get their recharge?
At a power plant.
Why was cucumber so mad?
Because it was in a pickle.
Who is known to be the fastest among vegetables?
A runner bean!
Who saw the salad dressing?
The sandwich maker.
Garden Jokes One Liners
Garden one-liners can make you laugh no matter how big the greenhouse is. For example, how do plants practice self-care? By simply trying to weed out all the unnecessary drama!
I know someone who was arrested, next day he was in his garden sitting on a haystack. He’d been let out on bale.
What sort of cow helps with the gardening?
A lawnmoo-er.
I don’t buy flowers from monks. I like to do my bit to prevent florist friars.
Someone keeps taking the gates from local gardens. Our neighbours are worried that they’ll take a fence.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
A friend perfected his garden flower beds through a process of trowel and error.
Yet again, someone has added more soil to my allotment. The plot thickens…
A friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped it would come up half cut.
Why is Hulk such a good gardener? He’s got green fingers.
My wife asked me if I thought we needed new garden furniture. I’m sitting on the fence.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
Clean Garden Jokes
As neat as you want your garden to be, there are clean garden jokes out there. What, for example, happened to the plant in math class? It developed square roots!
What do you call a garden nursery?
Plant Parenthood.
How much room should you give to fungi to grow?
As mush-room as possible.
What did the tomato plants say in their family picnic?
“Let’s ketchup!”
How do you actually fix a cracked pumpkin plant?
With a pumpkin patch!
Why are plants happy during autumn?
Because they turn a new leaf.
Why did the plants decide to go to the therapy?
Because they wanted to get to the root of all their problems.
Why do trees have so many friends?
Because they branch out.
What did one plant say to another plant one day?
What’s tomata?
How do trees get online?
They just log-in.
Why was the gardener unhappy with the plant movie?
Because the plot thickens.
What did the plant owner say when he found out that about the plant recovery?
“What a re-leaf.”
How do home plants say goodbye?
“I will seed you later!”
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
Because they can easily put the petal to the metal.
How does a flower apologize after teasing a friend?
“I was just pollen your leg!”
Do you know how a flower gives an ultimatum?
She tells everything once and floral.
What makes some plants better at math as compared to others?
They have square roots.
What did one plant say to another in the plant race?
“I am rooting for you.”
Why couldn’t the gardener plant any more flowers?
Because he had not botany!
What does a nosey pepper do?
It would get into the jalapeno business.
Dumb Garden Jokes
Have you ever considered having something like dumb garden jokes? For instance, I told my wife that the outfit she was wearing was inappropriate for gardening. However, she is digging in her heels.
I think I saw Michael J. Fox at the garden center this morning, but I can’t be sure.
He had his back to the fuchsias.
If only I could grow green stuff in my garden like I can in my refrigerator.
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Sherlock Holmes was doing some gardening.
Watson asked what he planted.
He replied, “A lemon tree, my dear Watson.”
The only way to guarantee some color all year round is to buy a garden gnome.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s popcorn?
What do you call a garden that is chicken-proof?
Impeccable.
What do you call a grumpy, short-tempered gardener?
A snapdragon.
What do you call a homeless snail?
A slug.
What do you call a stolen yam?
A hot potato.
What do you call someone who buys up the garden store’s whole stock of shrubbery?
A hedgehog.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.
What gets bigger the more you take away?
A hole.
What grows under your nose?
Tulips.
Almost all garden gnomes have red hats.
It’s a little gnome fact.
I don’t buy flowers from monks.
I like to do my bit to prevent forest friars.
I just bought some potting soil on sale.
It was dirt cheap.
Garden Jokes for Adults
Garden jokes for adults are ideal for a community of individuals who do nothing but garden. What, for example, do a serial killer; and a prolific gardener have in common? Both of their sheds are overflowing with hoes.
How do succulents confess their feelings?
By saying, “Aloe you so much!”
How do plants actually practice self-care?
By trying to weed out all the unnecessary drama!
What position does a baby plant serve in the army?
In the infant tree.
How do you know if a plant gets really scared?
You can tell when it soils itself.
What plant part has the most number of friends?
The bud.
Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin agreed to take care of each other’s gardens.
This means Roger Waters Robert’s Plants.
What do rabbits say before feasting on your garden?
“Lettuce prey.”
What do a serial killer and a prolific gardener have in common?
Both of their sheds are filled with hoes.
I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local garden centre.
I’m not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold
I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging our garden in the first place.
I think the tomatoes in my garden are actually round red time travelers.
They all seem to be developing wormholes.
When did the farmer decide to dance?
When he drops the beet.
Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner?
Because he could not find one date.
How does a plant communicate with one another?
They use the moss code.
On what do chickens normally grow on?
Eggplants!
Garden Jokes for Kids
Garden jokes for kids are a great way to keep your children entertained when they are bored. For example, what do you call a gardener with a beard? Hairy Potter.
What kind of beans grow in the Easter Bunny’s garden?
Jelly beans!
What kind of garden does a baker have?
A “flour” garden.
Why did the gardener bury all her money?
To make her soil rich.
Why does Santa Claus like to work in the garden?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!
Why does Santa have a garden?
So he can hoe, hoe, hoe!
How excited was the gardener about spring?
So excited he wet his plants.
What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder!
What do you get when you cross a garden worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid.
What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
A tiger lily!
Garden Jokes and Puns
Garden jokes and puns are just what you need to brighten your day with laughter and joy. For example, what does the garden’s youngest flower child say? Last bud, not least!
Why can’t the flower ride his bike?
Because he lost his petals!
What do trees drink?
Root Beer!
What kind of flower looks like it just came back from a fight?
A Black-Eyed Susan!
What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots!
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing!
Which vegetable did Noah leave off the ark?
Leeks!
What’s the easiest way to stop a dog from digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel!
Final Thoughts on Garden Jokes
We hope you have a good idea of how garden jokes are supposed to be used and who should use them.
These jokes aren’t just for gardeners or people who work on farms. It can be used on anyone, and chances are they will enjoy it.
Garden jokes aren’t just for people who plant seeds. Gardening can refer to a wide range of activities. On a larger scale, it could be farming, crop cultivation, and so on.
Gardening jokes are appropriate for all ages. It can be cracked in front of both children and adults. Make sure to keep the filthy ones on hand. The timing of the jokes is important, so choose wisely which joke to tell when.
Assuming that eating and developing vegetables is your number one diversion in your home nursery, you will partake in the cultivating jokes recorded above, which will make you laugh uncontrollably.
